Friday, March 04, 2005

"Be Cool"

I say "Be Frugal" and don't lay down your money for this self-absorbed clunker.

John Travolta as Chili Palmer (who?) is at it again. And this time it's the music industry that suffers the wrath of his super-mobster powers. I was not a fan of "Get Shorty" to begin with and this thing suffers from the same 10 minute ago "inside" jokes that were the attraction of the first installment. (Notice my compulsion to use the word "suffer"). The movie continues the saga of "Shylock" (their word, not mine) and all around uber-cool Palmer transitioning from the business of film to music. A business that the sleazy record producer, portrayed by Harvey Keitel, calls as wise-guy as the actual mob. Oh boy, is Chili in for the ride of his life!... Hardly.

I was about to leave at minute 70 - I believe this was after Travolta wows Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, during a sitdown, with his empathic abilities. After it is agreed upon what a great tune "Sweet Emotion" is, Danny Zuko tells Tyler that he must have written the song about the birth of his daughters Liv and the fat one. Tyler is so blown away by Barbarino's homespun Brooklyn wisdom that he agrees to let the unknown singer (played by Christina Milian), that the boy in the bubble is reping, appear with him and the band for a sellout crowd at the Staples Center. Aside from this being a completely ridiculous and poorly written scene - the foreman at my personal warehouse of useless information reminds me that Liv Tyler was brought up by Todd Rundgrun and was never in her biological father's life until her late teens. Let's not forget the drug, alcohol, and groupie filled fog the band was in when that song was written and I hardly believe "Sweet Emotion" was penned in dedication to the existence of the lead singer's children.

But it was Vince Vaughn and the Rock (or is it "Roc" - no, that's Charles Dutton) that kept me in my seat. They carry the picture. Andre 3K and Cedric are entertaining too, and could have been better utilized. But I feel Dwayne "Roc(k)" Johnson as the gay aspiring actor/bodyguard stole the show.

Chili Palmer's bravado, his greatest gesture of toughness, is his ability to freely and incessantly smoke indoors in L.A. Whoooo, I'm scared.

I used to find Elmore Leonard's cockiness endearing - these movies make him seem contrived and masturbatory.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

*Too many "stars" equals too many distractions for a poorly constructed script.

*The entire dance sequence was the worst rip off of Tarantino's work that I've ever seen.

*Did Chilli even have any obstacles? Problems appeared and then disappeared within seconds. Boring.

Yeah, I want my money back.

-Jennie (serendipity1980 on LJ or you can click on Bri's link)

7:11 PM  

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